Relationships: Breaking The Bad Thoughts

If you're like me and have bad experience after bad experience pretty much consistently in your past and are finding yourself in a relationship with someone good for once, I have some advice for that (I'm just a little advice machine today, I should start an advice column).

If you've ever experienced the whole "He's way too good for me," "I don't deserve him," or "He deserves better than me" thing, believe me when I say you need to calmly express that feeling to him (try hard not to cry) and let it go. I say "let it go" in stead of "let it out" for a specific reason -- if you just let it out, it doesn't go away. I've learned that over the past two years of my relationship (in no timely fashion, might I add). You need to try to let it go because it's not only you the thought is hurting. If he cares for you the way my boyfriend cares for me, he gets just as worked up about it (whether he shows it or not -- though don't necessarily take him brushing it off as him hiding it. Every guy is different).

Especially if your boyfriend has been hurt, himself, by someone else before you, too. The only good it will do for you to hold on to that is to push him away (and I would think that's not a good thing). So, for when those moment arise when you feel like you are completely unworthy of his love and affection or you feel afraid he's eventually going to leave you "because everyone else did," you have to try to change your way of thinking. Try thinking instead how blessed you are that, at very least for the moment, he chose you and right now, he wants to be with you. Not somebody else who, you think, would be "more compatible." Because if you find yourself in a situation where on 98% of topics you click better than you do with anybody else, it's highly unlikely that there is someone more compatible.

If your partner has verbally made the sincere decision that they want you and not somebody else, hop on that train and ride it. Because making a life-long decision like this is scary -- no, it's terrifying. But think about it like this: you could be so afraid of losing your partner that he ends up actually leaving, or you could push that fear aside and embrace the journey (and him leaving becomes exponentially less likely)!