Parent FYI

For those parents new to life with a college-bound child, especially when said child happens to be female, anticipate heavy attitudes of I-really-couldn't-care-less and Please-shut-up-because-you're-stupid. And please don't take it offensively. As a Senior, the very last thing a normal kid wants to do is spend all their waking hours at home with Mommy and Daddy. Sure. They'd rather be at home than at school, but quality time with the parents is the last thing a kid wants. They're this close to freedom: the last thing your kid needs to see is you doubting yourself and the values you've instilled in them. So, unless you're aware of any drug or alcohol abuse that your kid has been going through, the likelihood of them going AWOL is fairly low (don't take me as an excuse to not care about your kid; I claim no responsibility for the future actions of your children).

Now, none of this is to say "Give up all hope of your kid loving you anymore, you're a stupid old fart that nobody cares about." No. Good grief, no. Your kid loves you. You know, as long as you've done your job of being a non-abusive parent, you're gold. They don't care if you're not perfect, you were their childhood hero. But everyone has to walk their own path, and clinging onto them for dear life like you're a Koala Bear on a tree isn't quite going to fly too high with them. Give them a little space. They need to fly from the nest some time.

The more relaxed you remain in front of them about letting them go to college (even if you're a nervous wreck on the inside), the more likely your kid will be willing to tell you when they're having issues. Going over the deep end right before you send them away isn't really an indicator of, "You can tell me anything." It tends to come across more as, "Yeah, I'm nuts and super on edge, so tell me stuff, but proceed with caution 'cause I'm a ticking time bomb."

On another note, if your Senior seems to be taking "easy" classes, don't push them. During my Senior year, I'm taking a teacher's aide class, three elite choir classes, Advanced Placement Spanish 5, Advanced Placement English Literature, and Honors Pre-Calculus. I can just hear some parents: " 'Elite' choir? Oh, come on. What do you do? Dance while you sing?" The answer to that - ...only at our last concert.  My point, however, is that the three choir classes I'm currently in are all auditioned. We have three or four concerts just in the spring, along with Regional and State competitions. Last year, we also went on a trip to Colorado for another, more competitive competition and ended up placing first in two of our choirs and second in our third choir. That's hard work. Believe me; singing isn't some field day.

As well, when you are given an Honors Pre-Calc final with 80 minutes to complete 60 3-5 part questions, you don't exactly pass. At least not with flying colors. Senior year is so stressful; you'd be surprised at what kids have to be thinking about these days so young. There's scholarships (which you never find out about until late March at earliest), College applications, College auditions (if your kid plans to be in choir, band, orchestra, etc.). You've got foreign language kids who have to take placement tests, AP exams, finals. Throw in those who participate in the plays/musicals in AND outside of school, those who do sports, or clubs, or any other extracurricular activity, including working ('cause some kids do that). Take all of that and add on expectations of not only doing well, but the expectation to take a full senior year? It's no wonder why some kids go insane (and no, I will not elaborate on that).

So before you decide that your kid must be Superman (or Superwoman, if you'd rather), consider literally everything they have to go through during this very important and VERY stressful year of their life. Consider that when your kid starts lashing out that s/he doesn't necessarily need the punishment as much as s/he needs the love. Naturally, there are some instances that need enforced punishment; however, you won't always be there to be scolding your kid when s/he does something wrong, so do remember to let their punishment be from natural consequences. There are many instances in which you will feel like you've lost absolute control, but always remember that you are a parent and, of all things, you know your kid. Keep them in mind during this last year that they will be right there close to home.